How Not to Get Shot

(when breaking bad news)

By Michael Grinder

  1. When breaking bad news, a visual is especially helpful. ("Show but don't tell.") Separate the message from the messenger. 
  2. Get the message "off to the side," and then look at it yourself.  Use your eyes to focus the group attention.
  3. Into the meeting, try moving the "bad news" chart to the side or rear as "good news" solutions are developed. 
  4. Acknowledge resistance. 
  5. Focus on facts and descriptions, not interpretations. 
  6. Position your body at 90 degree angle, or side-by-side, if possible (such as sitting around a table) 
  7. The problem is "it" but he solution is "we." 
  8. Use the "we" hand gesture (move hand back and forth).
  9. Don't stand behind a podium. 
  10. Go ahead and let any irate persons speak:  "play his/her rehearsed tape." 
  11. Offer, don’t state, the answer to a question
  12. Use the Feel/felt/found technique.  Say....
    • I know how you feel. 
    • I've felt that way myself. 
    • I've found, however, ________

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