More Facilitator tips
    Some good statements to have in your meeting leadership repertoire
    a. “What can we do, or how can we change this proposal, to get everyone on board?”
    b. “Turn to your neighbor and share……..
    c. “I need to have an idea of your thinking up to this point … please indicate if you like this proposal.”  (Thumb Survey)
    d. “We seem to be stuck..  Can we let __________ look into this and move ahead if they like what they see?”  (Thumb Survey)
    e. “We are out of time for this discussion.  Are we ready to decide?”   Or, “Shall we take five more minutes?”  (Thumb Survey)
    f. “Hold that thought.  Let me write it on the board so we won't forget it.”
    g. “So you seem to be in favor of the proposal.”  (Or, “So you seem to be not in favor,” )
    h. “What information do we need to make a good decision?”  (and list on board)
    i. “Great idea.  I wonder if I could meet you later and you could help me decide what committee should discuss that.”
    j. “Because I see all threes, fours, and fives, I believe we have reached consensus and the proposal is adopted.”
    k. “I'm not sure I understand you.  Are you saying that…..?”

How not to get shot!
Some strategies on dealing with unpleasant news or difficult problems:
With thanks to Michael Grinder & Associates
  • When breaking bad news, a visual is especially helpful. ("Show but don't tell.")  Use flip chart to separate the message from the messenger.
  • Get the message "off to the side," and then look at it yourself.  Use your eyes to focus the group attention on the chart.
  • Into the meeting, try moving the "bad news" chart to the side or rear as "good news" solutions are developed.
  • Acknowledge resistance.  ("I know you don't want to hear this...and there is a good reason why!")
  • Focus on facts and descriptions, not interpretations.
  • Position your body at 90 degree angle, or side-by-side, if possible (such as sitting around a table)
  • The problem is "it" but he solution is "we."  When discussing the problem, speak in third person rather than first or second person as much as possible.
  • Use the "we" hand gesture (move hand back and forth) when discussing the solution, to indicate that "we" are a team.  Don't stand behind a podium.  Get "up close" the the participants.
  • Go ahead and let any irate persons speak:  "play his/her rehearsed tape."
  • When answering a question, offer the answer, don't state the answer!  ("We might want to consider......" is better than "OK, here's the answer.")
  • Feel/felt/found
    • I know how you feel.
    • I've felt that way myself.
    • I've found, however, ________
Even More Facilitator Tips
(adapted from The Team Building Tool Kit)
  1. Get the meeting started.
    • "Let's review the agenda.
    • "Our goal for the meeting is ____ Does anyone see it differently?
  2. Encourage communication and involvement of all members.
    • "Let's go around the room and hear from everyone.
  3. Ask team members for opinions and feelings to encourage discussion
    • "What is your reaction to _____?
    • "How do you feel about _____?
  4. Ask for a summary of the discussion.
    • "Will someone summarize the major points before we continue?
  5. Paraphrase what someone has said to help members understand each other.
    • "I'm not sure I understand.  Are you saying that .....?
    • "What I'm hear is .....?  Is that right?
  6. Ask for specific examples to improve understanding.
    • "Will you give some examples of what you mean?
  7. Clarify assumptions.
    • "Does your idea assume that we will get funding?
  8. Ask for explanation in order to eliminate confusion and repetition.
    • "I don't understand what you are saying.  What would you do if _____?
  9. Probe an idea in greater depth.
    • "Are there other things we should consider?
  10. Suggest a break or rest
    • "We have been working for an hour.  I suggest we take a break.
  11. Move the group toward action.
    • "How would you suggest that we proceed on this?
  12. Poll members.
    • "Let's take a quick thumbs up-or-down survey to see what we are thinking.
  13. Recommend a process.
    • "Let's try brainstorming to get more ideas on the table.
  14. Step out of the facilitator role.
    • "I have strong feelings on this topic.  Would someone else facilitate the meeting?
  15. Stop discussion to focus on team feelings.
    • "Let's take a break and each talk about what he or she is feeling right now.
  16. Reflect for the team what someone else is feeling.
    • "I get the impression you are not satisfied with my answer.  Right?
  17. Get back on track.
    • "Can you help me understand how that relates to the agenda item?
  18. Surface differences of opinion.
    • "You seem to be holding back on this.  Is there something you disagree with?
  19. Explore potential results.
    • "If we don't act today, what's the worst thing that will happen.
  20. Test for consensus of the team.
    • "I sense that we are in agreement.  Does anyone see it differently?
    • "Can we identify any areas we still disagree on?
  21. Handle consensus blockers.
    • "Is there a compromise you would like to offer?
    • "We would like to hear your reasons for blocking the decision.
    • "Would you be willing to stand aside if we did this for a trial period?
  22. Move toward decision.
    • "We have discussed both sides carefully.  Its' time we make a choice.
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